Fulfilling Purpose = Pursuing Passion

I’ve been struggling for months with this horrible writer’s block. I don’t know what’s wrong, I used to love writing, but now every time I sit down nothing comes to mind to say. It’s been such a crazy year and so many exciting things have been going on; it seems silly that I can’t think of one topic to focus a blog post on. My mind is completely absorbed with wedding things 24 hours a day. Flowers, shoes, makeup, showers, dress fittings, and $$$. But it’s almost over. There’s a light at the end if the tunnel.

But tonight as I was prowling through countless wedding sites trying to get ideas for my guestbook and tie up some other loose ends, I started thinking about all the other things I used to love to do with my time that I’ve neglected in the past months. More than just months… This started well before the wedding was even on my radar. I think it was probably around my sophomore year of college.

I used to love to journal. I would write everyday, in a notebook or on a blog. Poetry, prose, letters to friends. I even started school as a journalism major. Writing was not only something I was good at, it was a passion.

I used to sing. Mostly in church, on the worship team, but I had other opportunities present themselves a few different times. I had a chance to use my talent in bigger ways, but I passed it up. And I haven’t really sang since. Not for people anyway.

I used to take thousands of pictures. I invested in a nice camera and took a few classes. I even had a few paid gigs here and there. I wanted to start doing shoots on the side, build a portfolio and see where it took me. But I never really felt like I was talented enough and slowly that passion too dwindled away.

So there it is. For a long time I’ve been wondering what was wrong with me; why I have felt so empty and void of purpose. But really I know the answer.
It’s because somewhere along the way I lost sight of my passions.

God doesn’t give talents out to be hidden away. Talents are our purpose. We are supposed to use them. And why wouldn’t we? They make us unique. I don’t think this is a problem most people in my generation deal with. Not in the YouTube, Reality TV, “I have to be famous” age we live in. Most people my age are dying to show the world what they can do. Something has been holding me back.

I don’t know why I felt like sharing this tonight. I think it was a much needed nudge from God to acknowledge the problem. In the parable of the talents (Matthew 25) the master gave each of his servants talents to take charge of and multiply while he was gone. When he returned, all of the servants had succeeded except for one. One of them buried the talents he was given because he was afraid of losing it. The master was furious with this servant because he did not fulfill his master’s purpose. So he took the talents from that servant and gave them to the servant who had obeyed the master’s request.

This epiphany of mine probably comes as a shock to no one. Passions are given to us to guide us in the direction of our purposes in this world. It’s common sense really, but I need to acknowledge it. I don’t think I’ll ever be truly happy until I start to live a life that is guided by passion. I don’t want to disappoint my Master.